I May Not Be My Hair but I NEED IT

My hair is playing tricks on me.

Sike, I change my hair so often I'm not even sure if i have a go-to style. There are soooo many options out here, why not explore. #BlackHair is a phenomenon all in itself so it makes sense that there is a huge market for it. I started falling in love with my hair back in high school when I saw that paying $100 for #CreamyCrack and a few end trimmings was not going to be a luxury my mom could continue to keep up with. But, let's take it back to the beginning, when it was all my mom's fault. After she decide my puff and ponytails were no good.

The hot-comb (queue the music #DunDUNDUN ) ! My ears endured a lifetime of burns and abuse like a female that doesn't know when to walk away. Every Sunday morning I thought it would be different. NOPE! My mom laid that comb on the stove and said "Hole Steel" (black mom translation: Hold Still) . All i could think was "Why Lort!" (black child translation: Why me God! Why can't I wear a puff to church with the slick edges and occasional bow). I got over that and moved on to creamy crack in the 5th grade. Thank ya JeZUZ! The first thing I did was run to my best friend Zoe's house to compare lengths since she had just received her hair death sentence not too long before that.

The Ugly Stage: I made it to middle school but by this time the crack started to show it's ugly face. My hair was uneven and the pimples partying on my face made for a nice icing on the cake. My dad decided to bail me out and get #proactive to help spare me the embarrassment i was already dealing with while my mom found a rather expensive flamboyant hairstylist named Seven. I never found out if that was an alter ego or his real name. Regardless, he used his magical fairy fingers to bring me some dignity and I went back to school going into high school looking like #LaurenLondon from #ATLtheMovie .

High School: After trying out for the cheerleading team, because i thought this would somehow be fun (it was not, I was voted MOST unenthused) , I made it along with 3 other little black girls. We were pretty in our uniforms that weren't made for our plump asses. and thick tree trunk legs. We made for great bases for the flyers though. #BasketToss vet here. This was the point I was telling you all about where I could tell my mom could not keep this going for long.

I took to the back of the hair straightening labels (Back before #Youtube ) and started clinking and clanking in my bathroom. The end result was the best #Doobie hairstyle on this planet bruh! I went to school flashing my clear band braces, clear skin, and bouncy curls everyday. Woot Woot #winning! The only problem was my hair wasn't growing past my shoulders #HowSway .

College: I cut it all off #BrittanySpearsMoment

So here we are 8 years later and my afro is a decent size but I've learned quite a few styles over the years. My color is definitely grey so toast to getting old and being salt n peppa'd. The styles library include: #Wig Making, #HairColoring, #BoxBraids, #Senegalese, #TwistOut, #CurlFormers and whatever else I feel like doing.

I tried doing hair on the side as a hustle but women are too needy and picky for me. Enjoy the gallery of the versions of me lol!